From SoSH: Re: September 5th - Rebound With Curt

It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

Jose has the good fortune to have access to a computer today, so no one need spend a single day without KEYS.

1. Well, the winning streak was halted at 10, by a struggling Rangers team on a phantom out. Nuts to that!

Yesterday, Jose marked the Sox’s tenth straight win by writing a sonnet, 14 lines but 10 syllables per line. Today, in honor of the first win in a new streak Jose presents a new poem with 14 lines that are each one syllable. It’s a sophisticated poetry thing.

WIN
By Jose Melendez

Foulke
Saves,
Jokes,
Waves.

Tek,
Swings,
Wrecks
Things.

Droid
Face?
Foist
Place!!!

KEYS?
Please.

2. According to Jose’s brother, Sam Melendez, one of the biggest benefits of the Nomar for Mientkiewicz and Cabrera trade is that it has made watching the closed captioning of games infinitely more entertaining. Every time Mientkiewicz’s name is mentioned, the caption writer is so slowed that he falls two to three batters behind. Jose is deeply sympathetic because he has a similar problem. For instance, this KEY is only 90 words, long, but because it uses the word Mientkiewicz three times, it took three and a half hours to write.

3. Speaking of Doug Mientkiewicz, according to Gordon Edes of the Boston Globe, the slick fielding first baseman has volunteered to be a recruiter of free agent pitchers for the Sox in the off season. Mientkiewicz specifically mentioned speaking to his former teammates Brad Radke and Eric Milton, but before he takes the job, Jose urges him to think carefully about what being a recruiter really entails. It could mean going to all of the free agent pitching fairs in high school cafeterias across the country. It could mean wandering mall parking lots asking young men if they’d ever considered a career pitching for the Red Sox. And it will almost certainly mean many a night of sitting in living rooms in small towns across America explaining to working class parents what the Boston Red Sox have to offer their son.

Jose thinks it’s great that Mientkiewicz wants to take on a second job, Jose just wants him to think about the commitment it requires first.

I’m Jose Melendez, and those are my KEYS TO THE GAME.