8/3/05 –Jose goes for 10-1

It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

(Note: For those of you who wasked about KEYS merchandise at the Bash it is available here.)1. Now that Man-E-Faces Ramirez has claimed “It’s Just Manny Being Manny” as his own personal tagline, Jose thinks it’s time that we look at the potential marketing opportunities. To that end, Jose Melendez is proud to present some possible ad copy.

“Hi, I’m Red Sox slugger Manny Ramirez. I like hitting the ball, hiding in the wall and eating delicious tuna salad. But when I eat my tuna salad, I don’t want it made with Miracle Whip or oil, for me it’s not tuna salad unless it’s made with real Mayonnaise—Hellman’s Mayonnaise. So the next time you’re at the super market remember: Hellman’s—It’s Just Mayonnaise Being Mayonnaise.”

“This is Manny Ramirez of the Boston Red Sox. Like a lot of you, I’m a big fan of the fine arts. But when I want some culture, I’m not looking for pointillism, cubism, Dadaism or any of this modernist crap. That’s why I like to visit the impressionist galleries at the Museum of Fine Arts. Because at the MFA it’s just Manet Being Manet.”

“Shalom. This is World Series MVP Manny Ramirez. The high holidays are just around the corner and you know what that means? Wine. Whenever Gabe Kapler, Kevin Youkilis, Adam Stern or Theo Epstein chat with me about Rosh Hashanah dinner they always ask me ‘Manny, I was thinking about trying a dryer sacred wine tonight. What do you think?’ And I always give the same response. ‘Stick with Manischewitz in delicious concord grape, boysenberry and black cherry flavors. Sure, it’s a sweeter wine, but isn’t sweet how you’d like your new year to be? Remember with Manischewitz, the first name in kosher wines, It’s Just Mani [schewitz] being Mani [schewitz].’”

For the complete KEYS visit www.wallballsingle.com