Saturday, October 2

From SoSH: Re: 10/2 Boston vs. Baltimore - Arroyo vs. Cabrera

It's time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

1. They’ve tried rebooting. They’ve taken out the emotion chip. They’ve run Avast, and Adaware and Norton Utilities, but nothing seems to have fixed DLowe Paranoid Android for long. So now Terry Eurona has been left with no choice but to shut him down. According to Jose’s sources, Terry Eurona went into DLowe’s electronic brain last night and began to pull memory cards. Reportedly, as his brain was dismantled, DLowe began to sing Daisy, Daisy or something like it.

DLowe DLowe, through me a sinker do,
You’re half-crazy, we can’t rely on you.
You won’t start in the post season,
For this there is a reason,
In the division race
You kept making the face
Now we bid you a fond adieu.

2. A lot of people have been saying that the Red Sox remaining regular season games are about as meaningful than preseason games. Jose thinks this is absurd. They are clearly less important than preseason games. In the preseason, one is looking to see who can contribute over the course of the season, surprises will emerge, veterans will put their status in doubt. In these games pretty much nothing except injuries can happen. Last night’s game was important only because Tim Wakefield earned the number four spot in the rotation, but what is going to happen today? Will Adam Hyzdu dislodge Gabe Kapler, "The World’s Most Perfectly Sculpted Jew?" Is Jackie Gutierrez going to steal a roster spot? Is Lenny Dinardo going to beat out DLowe for a long relief role? Actually, that last one doesn’t sound so far fetched.

3. Was anyone else a little unsettled by the headline of Bob Hohler’s Red Sox Notebook in the morning’s Boston Globe "Wakefield’s ending is a happy one." It sounds an awful lot like Hohler is accusing our ALDS game four starter of visiting "oriental massage parlors." The last thing we need now is another Margo Adams situation. (Note: How was the Margo Adams thing a big deal? A baseball player had a mistress. Was anyone the least bit surprised by that? Did it really seem like news at the time?) Hohler casually throws out this allegation and then spends the rest of his piece talking about Wakefield’s pitching performance last night. It’s just irresponsible journalism, and Jose would hate to see this jeopardize Wakefield’s bid for the Roberto Clemente award.

(Note: Even though there are two games today, Jose may just do one KEYS. After all he needs rest for the playoffs too.)

I'm Jose Melendez, and those are my KEYS TO THE GAME.

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