Saturday, May 28

5/28/05 – Antipope Clement XV vs. Pavano

It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

1. After he single handedly killed the Red Sox by getting two runners thrown out at home in the sixth inning last night, it is clear that third base coach Dale Sveum needs to be sent down to work on his fundamentals. But given the level of his performance last night, Jose thinks that Sveum is not performing well enough for Triple A, Double A or even Single A ball. Jose thinks he should be sent down to some pre school to work on playing red light/green light with pre schoolers. Hopefully, that would teach him that there are times when you should go, and times when you should stop. Jose’s fear is that this is what a game of Red Light/Green Light called by Dale Sveum would look like:

SVEUM: Okay kids, ready… Green light……….

(Sound of children running into the wall.)

Actually, we should be happy that he’s a third base coach. Imagine if he was a crossing guard, there would be kids splattered all over the crosswalk. (Note: Yes this is a variation on the famous Sveum, or was in Wendall Kim, as air traffic controller joke, but it still works.)

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