4/3/05 -- Fat Man vs. Tall Man

It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

Welcome to Season Two of Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME. We are pleased to announce that Season One will soon be out on DVD including: Spanish and French dubbing, director’s commentary, deleted scenes and outtakes, such as one hysterical KEYS where Jose spelled "Mueller" as "Miller."

1. Once, Jose heard a big band jazz album (note: he believes it was Woody Herman, but maybe not) where the band leader, before playing his first chart, discussed how to open a set.

"There are two ways to open a set," said the bandleader. "The first is with a tremendous burst of energy, with a high-octane, flash bang, fast-paced chart, with big meaty chords that hit the audience like 50,000 volts." (Note: These are not actual quotes, but it works as a literary device.)

"But there is a second option. My option. I say that playing to an audience is like making love to a woman." For the benefit of Misters Jeter and Rodrigues, Jose will explain what "like making love to a woman" means. It means taking your time. It means being deliberate and passionate. It means laying back, sinking into the groove and letting the moment take its course. It is starting a set with "Willow Weep for Me" rather than "Take the A-Train."

Tonight, the Boston Red Sox open a set called the 2005 season. Their last set was the greatest in history. It was Dizzy and JJ and Coltrane and Myles together. It was Duke and the Count trading fours. But that set is over, and all that remains is the pleasant buzz of last night’s champagne and cigarettes, that blissful time before intoxication makes its inevitable transition to hangover. But today, there is another gig to make, another set to play. And the fans? They know what is possible. They know just how good it can be. The anticipation builds; the moment arrives. How would you open the set? The thunder of brass? Mellow tugs at the bass?

It is Red Sox vs. Yankees, Wells vs. Johnson, Varitek vs. A-Rod, Giambi vs. Nature.

No, this will not be like making love to a woman. Get ready for the brass.

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