Saturday, August 28

From SoSH: Re: August 28th - Pedro has To

It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

1. According to the Boston Globe, Red Sox closer Keith Foulke has launched a new salvo in his ongoing war against Major League Baseball’s dictatorial uniform policies. Foulke has been accosted by MLB before for being so unpatriotic as to wear an American Flag on his cap. Who are these "Americans" Foulke supports? Some kind of street gang?

Major League Baseball, which sees no problem with 45 minutes renditions of "God Bless America" in the seventh inning stretch of playoff games, apparently has major issues with small shows of personal patriotism that depart from corporate norms. Foulke’s latest riposte cam in response to MLB’s insistence that he remove a Lance Armstrong/Nike "Live Strong" wristband that promotes the fight against cancer. What better way to celebrate the Jimmy Fund radiothon then by attacking other cancer charities! Foulke responded. "They want us to be robots. They’re trying but they’re going to fail."

In a related story, MLB announced that DLowe the Paranoid Android won its man…errr…robot of the year award.

2. Jose has been thinking about the twin six shooter/finger pointing gesture that the Red Sox have adopted as their salute to good play lately. What it really is, is a modest adaptation of former WWF Champion/ best selling author Mick Foley/Cactus Jack/Mankind/Dude Love’s famed six shooter sign that he flashes on his way to the ring or after hitting someone with a barbed wire bat. In his first book, "Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweat Socks" Foley says that he developed the sign while listening to "Love Shack" by the B-52s, specifically the "Bang, bang, on the door" part. Jose thinks we should take a cue from this, and start playing Love Shack after great plays so the players and fans can all do six shooters in unison. Jose knows its a cheesy song, he knows its not a manly song, but they already play "YMCA" at baseball games, so the bar has been set pretty low.

3. Let’s see. We can now add Manny Ramirez, Keith Foulke and Bill Mueller to the legions of injured Red Sox. A few days ago, Jose wrote about how even retired Red Sox are getting hurt. Well now it’s even worse. Jose is sad to report that he has just learned that Red Sox outfielders Tris Speaker and Harry Hooper have died. We must turn the tide against injuries now before it takes the lives of more players from the 1910s and 20s. You know, who have already been dead for decades.

I’m Jose Melendez, and those are my KEYS TO THE GAME.


Anonymous said...

from the Hartford Courant:
Leskanic has always been considered a good teammate. He can also be a practical joker. When he got the final out Friday, Leskanic did his Manny Ramirez imitation by pointing both hands at catcher Jason Varitek.

"I always joke around with Manny. He does that stupid [pointing]," Leskanic said. "Just messing around. I'm just glad we won."

It seems like the double-point is the closest the 2004 Sox have to a shared expression like "Cowboy Up" (I see t-shirts in the future), but in this case the double-point might be done just to make fun of Manny - which is like shooting fish in a barrel, right?

But you're right, I looked closer last night and he *does* have good skin.

Anonymous said...

"The Red Sox had a successful sacrifice bunt for the third consecutive game" - AP article on the 8/28 game

I think it is funny that this is so unusual for the Sox that it warranted mention in the AP article.

People at the game *were* cheering for "small ball"