Monday, August 23

Welcome to the KEYS

It's time for Jose Melendez's KEYS TO THE BLOG.

1. The KEYS TO THE GAME began on May 11th, 2004 on the Sons of Sam Horn Web site as part of Jose's effort to establish himself on the most prestigious Web site in all of Red Sox nation.

Jose got the idea after attending the SoSH Bash at Fenway Park. There, a drunken SoSHer bwith the handle Dana Kiecker slurred to Jose "Yer a funny poster. Do you think of yerself as a funny poster?" That was what Jose had hoped for, as he isn't nearly the analyst then many SoSHers. And so an idea was planted. Jose would try to distinguish himself by formalizing his observations.

For a few days Jose would post observations in sets of three in random threads, but they tended to get lost in the big picture. More focus was required. So Jose decided to start posting in the daily game thread.

When he started Jose never really planned for KEYS to be anything more than three little quips about Red Sox, maybe 15o or 200 words, but it soon began to spiral out of control. All of a sudden he was writing longer and longer entries, more and more words and having a surprisingly good time doing it. Before he knew it Jose was typically writing 500 to 1,000 words per day.

2. Now on August 23, 2004 Jose has written over 49,000 words, an almost appalling waste of time and energy, and yet the writing process is typically Jose's favorite part of the day. Jose has always felt that he was a good writer and has sometimes felt that he is funny and witty, but Jose has always know that he cannot produce without a deadline. I f Jose were to write strictly for joy, he would never write word one. He needs to feel like he has to do it. Jose has written two one act plays in his life, both for classes, he has written countless op-eds, all but two were for work. Yet, with the KEYS, he has managed to internalize the deadline to the extent that he can produce day in day out at a ridiculous rate despite not having the threat of financial punishment for failure hanging over him like the Sword of Damocles. (Note: That's what's called an allusion. Good writers use them, or so Jose has been told.)

3. So now Jose has come to the horrifying realization that the Red sox season will eventually end, most likely in late October, and if he wishes to continue writing he will have to do so without the constant source of stimulation that is the proverbial day in day out grind of the baseball season. Sure, there will be some insane doings on the hot stove. The Red Sox will make blockbuster deals and not make blockbuster deals, but the offseason will simply not be the same as the onseason.

So Jose decided to start KEYS TO THE GAME ( Now in Blog!!!) to provide a format where he can write about other subjects: the symphony, kabuki and shadow puppet theater that might not be appropriate for the non-member boards at SoSH. ( Note: By symphony, kabuki and shadow puppets, Jose means other sports, wrestling and politics. Jose will probably may do some pop culture too, but only if he can stand it. After all, he's not Bill Simmons.) Jose will continue to post the Red Sox KEYS at SoSH but he will post them here as well. This site will simply cover a far broader range of material.

I'm Jose Melendez, and those are my KEYS TO THE BLOG.


taffe said...
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Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you've set up your own blog. I've always enjoyed your Keys, hope in the offseason you'll keep me entertained as well. Best of luck.


taffe said...

As a longtime SOSH lurker and Jose Melendez fan, I am excited to see the beginning of an exciting new era. This will clearly redefine the internet as we know it. I mean, I get excited when I lurk in Views & News and see Jose's comments. I get upset when newbies show up and try to blame a losing streak on the broad shoulders of Jose. May your new blog be as successful as the materials you have done to date. (Now can you vouch for me for membership into the SOSH, Mr. Melendez? I do miss the days when I could access P&G with no accountability)

In all seriousness, keep up the good work -- taffe

Anonymous said...

Jose, I am very excited that you started this blog. You have no idea how nice it has been to read your KEYS TO THE GAME this season. Your humor and intelligence has been a bright spot in what has been at times a very depressing and frustrating Red Sox season. I look forward to your KEYS and now I look will also look forward to your KEYS blog. Keep up the great work.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I like KEYS.

They're good.

Mr. Weebles

Amy said...

I don't have SoSH membership, but reading the Keys is part of my daily routine. I look checking out the Blog as well.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a SoSH member either, but the KEYS have helped me avoid a record amount of work this baseball season. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

Dude, the KEYS are awesome!!

No, seriously, I have really enjoyed the keys this season. Being a recent addition to Red Sox Nation (I spent the 2003 season in Cambridge, MA due to work), I have only "discovered" SoSH this season and I'm a frequent lurker....your work is definitely a high point in an otherwise dull and dreary workday :)
But, since I noticed that you prefer to work under strict deadlines may I remind you, that all of us in the European chapter of RSN are actually extending our workdays beyond rime and reason just to catch the KEYS before logging off our workstation!! I probably don't have to tell you about the possible implications for the global economy and the monetary exchange rates, since you are keeping a sharp eye on the Euro. Still, I am certain that I'm not the only one who would appreciate seeing the KEYS before say 7pm Danish (and German, and Italian, and Spanish, and Dutch.....) time, i.e. 1 pm ET. Is that unreasonable.....sure it is, but hey, you're the one who brought up the deadline issue. :)

Here's to a continued victorious streak of great KEYS.

All the best,


Anonymous said...

The Ellis Burks/Giant Chicken KEY was a masterpiece.

Best wishes.